FOUR KIDS

Sometimes I wonder how I have FOUR kids. Granted my youngest is only six months but really! How did this happen? I know how THAT happened.... I just never get a chance to look at my life in my own shoes. I mean, Take a good hard look at where I am and where I am going. I change diapers, make bottles, clean finger prints off of everything, pick up and drop off, help with homework, make dinner, and wait until I have 2 seconds to say hello to my husband.
Ten years ago I would have told you I was never going to have kids. I was busy and wild and traveling the country. I was goal oriented and career minded. I never babysat and I thought kids were loud and annoying. Some things never change but now the loud and annoying kids are mine and they are all I think about. I can't imagine where I was ten years ago and what I was doing six months ago, before there were FOUR. There is nothing better then tucking them into bed at night, one at a time, getting hugs so tight it squeezes the air out. Closing down the house, turning off the lights. Those few awesome moments when the silence is comforting, just before my husband starts to snore.

Time to get the Boys

Again ,I have to go get my kids. It sounds like ,so what, but It stinks to have to go to my ex- husbands house to get my own children. They are my kids and I have to share them because some judge told me I had to. I did not cheat or commit lies or the demise of my marriage. I guess it takes two to tango but, I did not break my vows, commit adultery nor anything like that to cause a divorce. I had two kids and became a MOM. A really awesome MOM. He, my X, still a child himself decided that he wanted to act like he was still single and irresponsible. As a result and a bunch of BS,I have to share my kids. I see them half the time. If I lived with a mean, controlling, adulterous man I would be able to have my kids every night to tuck them in and say 'sleep tight little men'. Hummmmm. Sounds easy. It wasn't and it isn't. I cry a lot because I miss and worry about them. They are young boys and continue to need their mommy. Once they are home it is fine. We pick up where we left off. It is hard for them to have two houses. Hard to not to be able to be where they want to be. The kids are stuck in the middle because the judge put them there. The courts took two babies away from their mom because their dad didn't want to pay child support. He figured that if he had them half the time he wouldn't have to pay. It is really sad for those boys to go through this, little do they know. This is One time I can guarantee 'ignorance is bliss'.